This Time It's for Real!

I have almost done it!

I am quiting my Mark Miller Toyota Sales job on the 15th of October. I have had several wonderful experiences to help me come to this decision and although I am nervous and a bit worried I am moving forward fearlessly. Paul and I have been discussing for the past 3 months when would be the best time for me to quit, as it is not the best job to have while trying to be a mother and raise a family. The hours are terrible and long and I see my children less than a corporate CEO. But the money has been good and we have needed it as Paul has been working on getting his company up and running.

After much prayer and asking Heavenly Father to help facility me coming home full time we decided that after the summer (as those are the best months to work in the business) that I would look for another job and come home, hopefully for the majority of the time the kids were home. So I began to look and look and look and all I could find with my skill set (sales) was full time and not any more encouraging than what I currently have at Mark Miller. So, I spent one morning meditating and praying about it and then let it go. I decided to have confidence that it would all work out and be the best somehow. Then I listened to the spirit and payed attention when he said listen and let go when he said let go.

Meanwhile the powers that be at Mark Miller Toyota (the General Manager) got wind that I wanted to quit and called me in the office and tried to push me into staying. Truth be known I would have stayed if they would have moved me to the used car side, and I was the most qualified to go, but they said that because I was not as devoted to the company as some others that I was off the list and would not be considered. This was a hugh blessing in disguise! If they would have moved me I would have felt bound to stay longer. Which is not the right thing at the moment. (I did however agree to give them a 30 day notice when I am ready to go which will start on the 15th of this month.) I have learned a ton in this job, but the things it has to teach me are coming to an end and I am ready to move on.

Meanwhile, I spoke to a friend that has alot of friends in the Motivational Speakers Association, which is where I would some day like to end up (doing motivational speaking) and she said she would email all her friends and ask if anyone knew of any openings available. She did and within 15 minutes had several replies.

I started talking to a married couple that does speaches together on many topics and started discussing working for them. They have asked me to come be their booking agent. It will be totally out of my own home after learning the ropes and only as many hours as I want (30). I will work while my kids are at school, (which they all are right now), and I will be home when they leave and when they get home. The money wont be as good up front but in time it could be much better than even at the dealership.

The change has caused a lot of anxiety in me and I have had to do a lot of repenting and breathing just to get through it. Strangly enough the anxiety has come from a desire not to disappoint or abandon the men I work for. They have in their own strange way become some of my best friends. I have spent more time with them in the past year than I have with my own family and I really do love them and wish the best for them. They have taught me from their kindness and their unkindnesses. I have learned how to be a better mother and parent by the way they have "parented" me in my learning process. I have learned to manage my own energy when everyones crap is coming at me from a negative place. I have learned to be patient with others short comings because I have so many of my own. I have learned to be kind when I wanted to be mean. I have learned that I wont always do the right thing but I can always make it right. I have learned to be honest and upright in my dealings and that honesty is hard to come by in the business world, but honesty is valued and clients, fellow workers and managers always read your dishonesty. And even more I can be honest and do well in the sales world.

I have learned who I am and that I am good at alot of things, and that I can be good at anything I want to be with the right focus and the right need. I have learned how to get my head in the game. That others don't always want me to succeed but that I can always succeed. I have learned that people who serve and are honest always do well. I have learned what it takes to succeed, and what it takes to fail. I have learned how to set goals and accomplish them. I have learned that I love people and feel a great amount of energy when I am in the presence of people. I have learned that I always push myself harder to help someone else than to help myself. I have learned not to compair myself to anyone else because that only takes away from my own power, that if I compair myself to myself I will always progress and make more money, feel more peace and be more happy. I can only fail if I stop progressing and take my eye off the goal and put it on someone else.

But Most of all I have learned who my Heavenly Father is and that He is ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS with me! I carry a part of Him in me because I am a part of him, I am his daughter, his offspring. He will see me succeed because I have that divinity in me that comes from only Him. He has sent His only Son to help his daughter become just like Him.

I don't think I can even begin to explain all the amazing things I have learned, this is only the beginning of the list. I only hope that I will be able to retain all the lessons and be able to apply them in every situation in my life. It seems that I am beginning to grow up.

I know I have alot more to learn and that the next big hurrdle for me is to learn charity, and all of this has given me the ground work for this amazing power. I believe It is time to see this gift in action. I don't know where it will come from but an old chineese proverb says "the teacher appears when the student is ready". I hope I am ready. I want to be ready.

I am greatful to all of you, my family and friends, for being patient with me as I have gone through this learning experience. Thank you for all the times you came and got my kids and loved them when I couldn't. Thank you for excusing me from the family parties with out any (or very few) guilt trips. Thank you for your prayes and love. Thank you for your kindness in asking how I was doing, and supporting me even if maybe you thought I was wrong or making a mistake. Thank you for coming to visit me, and thank you for still loving me while I went and streched my wings and learned how to fly. I didn't know I could fly before this past year. I always thought I would crash and burn. Now I know I have the ability, and the support in my Heavenly Father, to do what needs to be done and do it well.

Now having said that I know I will be asked to start from ground zero again and learn a new way to fly, but with every success there is a confidence built that makes the next trial hopefully a little bit easier. I hope I am able to maintain this as I go into a new field with a new product and a new vision.

More that anything I am excited to bring into my home the tools that I learned to help me be successful at work. The intense training I have gone through is for my children to gain the benifit from hopefully. They are the ones who have made the greatest sacrifice, so it stands to reason they should get the greatest reward. I hope I can be true to that.


Again thank you all and I love you and can't wait to see more of you!

Love Karen